In order to deal with all of this drama, sadness, and athleticism, I’ve decided to post something I wrote a while ago. You may have read it before, and if that is the case, then I urge you to read it again and enjoy!
Sometimes I see old people and I think to myself “what’s that? What’s that flap right under your chin? Why does it sway in the breeze? Will I be lucky enough to have a flap like that someday?”
My mom once told me that the chin flap was God’s way of telling you that you will fly to heaven. When your judgment day comes, you will look to the sky and let your flap carry you.
When you reach the pearly gates St. Peter will pull out his sickle and slice your chin flap away. Then your chin flap will be tossed into a bin with other chin flaps. This bin will be collected by one of the angels, Gabriel I think, and then Gabriel will fly the chin flap bin to the Heaven Knows Factory.
No human knows what happens in this factory (at least that’s what my mom told me), but some believe the chin flaps are deep fried, lightly salted and fed to God via Jesus. Others say the chin flaps are melted down in a creamy broth and molded into babies, which are then delivered by mechanical stork to India. That’s where babies come from: India.
All I know is that when I am old enough to have a chin flap I will raise my head to the sky and let the wind take me to the wonderful afterlife. Should my sacred piece of flesh come back either as a beautiful Indian baby or a salty treat for our Lord and Savior, I will know that I lived a just righteous life.
Hallowed be our chin flaps and Jesus.