So as you may know, since you are me and I am you (thank you Beatles), I was in New Mexico working on the Obama campaign for the past oh, well not so recent past now (thank you unemployment) five weeks. While I was there I found out about a number of things. Some of those things being that while people may be living in abject poverty, in their single wide trailers in the middle of nowhere — poverty, healthcare, jobs no no no none of these items are on their lists of most important issues. NAY! Never! You know what matters? You know what really matters more than any of those other things that have a DIRECT effect on my life? DO YOU KNOW WHAT MATTERS!?!?!?! Yeah… here you go….
That’s right, there it is in all of its majesty. Yes, that’s why I’ll cast my vote. God I hate fetuses. Feti? Fettuccine? I’m hungry.
Ok, obviously I’ve struck out on a tangent. Abortion was never my intended subject. But it always ends on abortion, doesn’t it? Sigh. Ok, so one other thing I noticed was that when I would make my snide, sarcastic comments about how there are SOOO many Jews in New Mexico, someone would inevitably say “actually, there are a lot of Jews here in New Mexico. But it’s very strange and very secret. They’re SECRET Jews.”
WHAT THE!?
Secret Jews! WOW! So it turns out after some more of my hard-hitting research (typing “secret Jew Southwest” into Google) I found this:
In the spring of 1492, Jews in Spain were given two choices: convert to Catholicism or leave the country. Many left. Many others simply abandoned their religion for Catholicism.
But a few of those who converted did so only publicly, continuing to practice Judaism in secret.
Modern scholars have found a few communities of so-called “crypto-Jews” that survived in both Iberia and the New World for centuries, hiding their true religious identity from their neighbors and the Catholic church.
So, the Secret Jews of the Southwest are called Crypto-Jews and they’re an odd hybrid of Catholicism and repressed Judaism. Sounds like a lovely slice of guilt-pie, doesn’t it?
How interesting to be a secret Jew in the Southwest. I wonder if there were any Jew gunslingers like Hebrew Haas, Wyatt Earpenstein or Doc Hudsongold. They would while away their days on the desert chasing fair shiksas and fighting off unjust goyish Sheriffs…
This is the Southwest Mel Brooks must of had in mind….