The Future Is Now

Ah! Dammit, this computer is freaking out. Stupid computer, if only you could learn from your mistakes, if only you were somehow adaptive and intelligent, that would be excellent, really excellent. 

Fear not, dear computer, your brain may be just around the corner! Yesterday scientists at the University of Reading in the UK developed the first robot controlled by biological brain. His name is Gordon, and he avoids walls. How does Mr. Robo-Gordon work? Well these smart scientists removed brain cells from rat fetuses and put them in an enzyme bath. Then they hooked the the enzyme bath up to this “multi-electrode array” which acts as the conduit between living tissue and the machine. The “brain” sends “impulses to drive the wheels of the robot, and receives impulses delivered by sensors reacting to the environment. Because the brain is living tissue, it must be in a special temperature-controlled unit and communicates with its “body” via a Bluetooth radio link.”

The people behind the development of Gordon say that being able observe how brain matter reacts to learning and storing data will give them valuable insight into human brain development and help them better understand and treat diseases like Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s.

Sure, that’s exactly what they WANT us to believe, but really, these British “scientists” are being secretly bankrolled by the US Military to develop weapons for 21st century warfare. Who do they think we are? We know that this lovable, smart robot will not become the real life version of Pixar’s Wall-E.

Nay! Gordon will most likely evolve into James Cameron’s killing machine, which will eventually lead to the destruction of life as we know it!

Or perhaps, after spending some time with humans and learning how to love Gordon 2.0 will turn from a killing machine to a Automaton with attitude!

Whichever road Gordon may take (Damn you beef stew! Damn you! Why are you here I smell you, why why why?!?!) robots have become smart, which means that soon computers will be controlling us, and then we’ll wake up in a tube on embryonic fluid and realize that the world is just green flowing characters and now, we have to rely on some dipshit to save us, but really he’ll turn our salvation into a three part suckfest. Oh, how I miss the 20th century.

Info and quotes found here: http://www.news.com.au/technology/story/0,25642,24181170-5014108,00.html

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5 Responses to The Future Is Now

  1. Leslie says:

    Have I told you lately that I love…your blog?! Seriously, you rock. Your writing style is to be greatly admired.

  2. Anonymous says:

    I return to this blog as an oracle. I don’t know where the bitch went who writes the thing, yet I still worship it. I admire arnold’s swolen triceps or whatever they are. I especially worship the drunk c reily clip. It makes me laugh so hard that I can’t spell or use correct grammar. But anyways, my rash is flaring up. It was great commenting on your blog. If you ever get a chance to blog more you should probably blog a little more. It won’t kill you. Blogs don’t bite. But they’re excellent diversions. Very pleasant. Yeah. Get back to work you lazy travelor. We need more laughs.

  3. Anonymous says:

    I return to this blog as an oracle. I don’t know where the bitch went who writes the thing, yet I still worship it. I admire arnold’s swolen triceps or whatever they are. I especially worship the drunk c reily clip. It makes me laugh so hard that I can’t spell or use correct grammar. But anyways, my rash is flaring up. It was great commenting on your blog. If you ever get a chance to blog more you should probably blog a little more. It won’t kill you. Blogs don’t bite. But they’re excellent diversions. Very pleasant. Yeah. Get back to work you lazy travelor. We need more laughs.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Hey Jill! Blog on your flippin’ blog or tarnation? Did you have a stroke and forget how to type? Did you expend all of your creative energy on Barak Bin Laden? Who do you think you are? Someone who can addict her friends to her wit & then dissappear? I think it’s a bad thing to do to stop blogging forever. What about the chin flaps?

  5. Anonymous says:

    becuase we gotta know what’s going on with those chin flaps, Jill! It’s an emergency man! I don’t care if you’re stuck in a LaQuinta with a cancerous Ausie! Get those digits to clickin. I can’t stand it. New material should be a top priority for you. Maybe you only type when you’re bored at work? Hey! get bored, Jill! Take some speed. Do something. This freakin crazy.

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